I am sad to report that the test results didn't come back as expected. Its taken me 2 days to find the words to try explain my dispair and extreme hurt in knowing my little AJay isn't getting better. His results revealed that his Malaysia is severe. Both Brochial and Trachial Malaysia are in extreme state of disabling Ajay from ever being able to get off the ventillator at his current settings. His lung has not improved since July 12th, his vent settings are higher, his secretions are extreme and he is being suctioned every 30-60 min. and his feedings are intermittent because his bowel and intestines are not doing their job, which cause him extreme pain and discomfort.
At this time, we are trying to think about his quality of life, his life on a ventillator and trach and whether or not a trach would make his breathing any easier, preserving the trachea. We are more than devestated by this news we received late Friday night, and are doing everything in our power to get several opinions medically and spiritually for the next steps.
We met with the Palative Care team here at the hospital and are arranging a team meeting for Ajay and his continued care Monday and Tuesday.
This (as you can imagine) has been the most difficult time for both Paul and I. We continue to believe that God will lead us and Ajay to a peaceful answer.
Oh I can't give words...only prayers whispered to the One who knows, the One who formed Ajay's heart, the One who has Ajay's best interest at heart, the One who will guide you, the One who chose you to be his mommy.
ReplyDeletePs. 33:11 "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."
Strength, mercy, grace, wisdom, discernment, peace by the bucketful..
I am praying hard. I love you, my Judah boy! You are really my hero. Only God knows what is best for you. I'm praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteno words.....just prayers for comfort and miracles. You are so loved Ajay ♡
ReplyDeleteGreat words Laine.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, sweet Ajay, and your beautiful family. Trusting God to do what's best.
ReplyDeleteI could never say it better than Laine.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lord, for Carrie & Paul's willingness to listen to you and to say "Yes" when you call. Please guide them, and comfort them, and continue to hold Ajay close to your heart.
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, thy will be done, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power (POWER) and the glory (GLORY!), now and forever.
May we find it possible to give God the glory and praise for allowing Ajay to touch so many lives, for letting Ajay know the love of a family, for his life providing all those who have cared for him with the opportunity to learn more by studying his condition and witnessing the inner workings of his body and the results of their actions.
Lord, we certainly don't always understand, but we praise you for you are good, all the time.
Carrie & Paul & all the A's ... I love you. Jane
Praying for you guys. I can't imagine how you're feeling but God knows. I pray He will bring peace, comfort, strength, healing and wisdom on how to proceed.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying too... For each of you to feel the loving arms of the Father wrapped around you right now. And for wisdom, discernment, and a clear direction to move. I'm so thankful Ajay has now known the love of a family... and for the enormous impact he has made on so many. His impact and legacy isn't finished yet - no matter the outcome of this journey.
ReplyDeletePlease know that we are lifting you up in prayer. Praying for strength, wisdom and peace.
ReplyDeleteWe're adding our prayers to those of all the others around the world whose lives have been touched from near & far by your special little boy...prayers for Ajay's complete healing, for God's peace, wisdom & comfort for your family, of thankfulness for Ajay & his life, as well as for your obedience to God's calling. We love you all and we will continue to lift up each of you to our Heavenly Father minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
ReplyDeleteAgreeing in praying with Laine, as well. There are no words but to say that we continue in prayer for dear Ajay, knowing that our Heavenly Father has placed him in your family for a purpose...that you are each blessed by the other...and that He will guide you and walk beside you during each step. We pray for complete healing for Ajay, but we pray also that God will give you the wisdom for the decisions He would have you make.
ReplyDeleteI am at a loss for words...just know I am praying for sweet Ajay and you. Praying specifically for peace and wisdom
ReplyDeleteMolly
(we adopted Evan from New Day..April 2010)
We are praying.
ReplyDelete